Category: Fatherhood
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Sex and Violence
I think it’s pretty clear that God made us to 1) enjoy our own spouses’ nakedness (but no-one else’s), and 2) be non-violent. The closer we can come to these primal conditions, the better. They are not unconnected, as it first appears, since both fidelity and peace are simply aspects of love. When Jesus changes…
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On Socialization In Randomly Collected Groups
In a room of 100 public school teachers, do this little thought-experiment (don’t tell them what it is about): 1. Ask them to write down 3 traits they like about themselves, and the people who, in each case, they most learned that trait from. 2. Ask them to write down a moment in their lives…
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The Law of Moral Entropy
Secularist parents have an insufficient base for a theory of goodness so they tend to produce amoral but socially competent adults, who feel little guilt. (Whenever anyone offers the seemingly pregnant observation that religious people are plagued by guilt, my secret response is something like “duh.” Of course they do.) By “amoral” I don’t mean…
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Embarassment
Embarrassment is the sign that the Holy has been transgressed by an outsider. It is not something to be grown out of, but rather is a gift to the conscience, worth the whole world. We must work to guard the child’s instinctual and congenital capacity to be embarrassed. In our television culture the damage starts…
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The Narrative Arc of Fatherhood
The shape of the Bible’s narrative is the shape of the father’s job; the history of salvation is the natural history of the soul. The Word of God is descriptive meta-psychology as well as prescriptive Sacred Text. The soul is not a tabula rasa born into a random vortex of spinning particles. The individual recapitulates…
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Temptation and Death
The Father allows temptation into the Edenic bubble, which is to say the outside world is not completely prohibited. The purpose of temptation is to allow the son to choose the father. Indeed, the purpose of the Prohibition is to let the son choose the Father. And the purpose of Absence is to let…
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A Clear Heart (rough draft and outline)
Imagine a conversation with someone you love, about something you care deeply for. You talk, then, at some moment, there’s no more to say. Then, later, you realize there is more to say. The “more” may be some subtle change of expression, or something to say more clearly. When is a conversation really over? Only…
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Glossary: parenting
Reminders for evangelical parents about their religious words: The “World”: is where God is not. It is not defined by dancing, drinking, playing cards, TV, etc. Commerce, entertainment, all life activities carried on in God’s absence are worldly. “Jesus”: His function is not to help you with your authority. If you have to…
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The Wanter
A word about terms…we might well say “heart”, instead of core. “Core” sounds so cold, so mechanical, so spatial. “Heart” is a warm and human word, by comparison. Plus, in the Hebrew vocabulary at the root of the Bible the term “heart” really does mean what we mean here, which is something like “the inner…
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Masculinity
Boys and Girls are different. The governing characteristic of maculinity is strength, just as the governing characterisitc of femininity is beauty. This is why boys play at strength, and girls play at beauty. Boys play to understand and use strength. This is why they climb, jump, break things, blow things up. Thet enjoy loud machines…