Note: this is secret mystical knowledge, for men alone. Let the deacons now show the women out and let the doors be shut.
Stage 1, the New Convert: If I talk to her about it, I can understand why she is crying and help her understand why she doesn’t need to cry.
Stage 2, the Cloud of Unknowing: It is not possible to understand why she is crying. I just have to go hide.
Stage 3, the Apophatic Union: She does not actually understand why she is crying, she is not interested in understanding it, and therefore I do not need to understand it. One slight movement toward her, in almost any area of her life, will evaporate the tears. It was easier than I ever imagined.