There is something counterintuitive here, something that fathers with problem children must embrace as the first step out. However much your child’s behavior is displeasing you, you have to come to grips with the fact that the behavior is something which, at some level, you have required of him. This is another way of saying that the first step out is confession, not accusation. If your child is your adversary, then make your accusations. But if your child is still your child, then the place to begin is confession. You don’t have to confess how you required this of him (because you don’t know that yet), but you should confess to God as sin the fact that you did require this of him.
2 thoughts on “Douglas Wilson: Your child is your creation.”
I don’t know about this. I agree your child should not be your adversary, but at the same time I do not think I “required” of my three year old son all his behavior, good or bad. Children are more than just an empty vessel that we fill with our behavior. They are little individuals completely capable of bringing their own unique responses to the world.
Thanks for stopping by. I’m raising a 9 year old boy, so I absolutely agree the child is not just a blank slate on which the parent writes. At the same time, those “unique responses to the world” shouldn’t surprise parents like they seem to…I’ve known many parents who are totally mystified and exasperated by some behavior in their child, which I listened to them enable for years before they seemed to recognize it.